"yeah, you could be macklemore for halloween, that would be hilaaarious. except, macklemore is sooooo gay, you know? so i don't know."
"oh good! my friend's new boyfriend wears his garments. so maybe he can help her get active again."
"but we found out that the actor who plays peeta is like, involved with this thing to help teens discover their sexuality, so [my husband] said 'no, i am definitely not being him for halloween,' but i was like, no, it's the actor that does that, not the character peeta."
"they shouldn't hire professors who have english as a second language. i know medical words are already hard to pronounce, but we had to ask him to write it on the board because no one could understand what he was saying."
"she is literally retarded. she had brain cancer so they literally took out part of her brain. she is so annoying. good for you that you survived cancer, but just no."
get me oooooooout.
all the mormon ladiez
when we taught our first sunday school lesson, there were a lot of humbling surprises for me. like how much everyone got where i was coming from. (our lesson was on the martin and willie handcart companies, and our role in 'rescuing' people, including less actives, which obviously is a touchy subject in my mind.) people were so receptive. sitting on the edges of their seats. contributing awesome stories.
but i will tell you who was not on the edge of their seat: the sisters. seeing a bored, even sleepy, even sleeping person in your class is hard for any teacher, but of all the people in the class, the women were the ones who were yawning, leaning all over their husbands, and looking at the floor.
i was very taken aback. of course there were exceptions, especially one awesome sister who has spoken very openly about depression and about 'why don't we talk about certain things in the church? not everyone is ok' (and also the bishop's wife). and on the other side, one guy was definitely not so interested. but still, the image of those women is burned in to my mind. i didn't succeed in making eye contact with them for an entire 45 minutes. in general, i would say mostly men spoke, even though i taught the majority of the lesson (hubby worked that morning and we didn't exactly prepare the night before).
i am really scared. i think the church might be making their women trivial by trivializing them (see here benevolent sexism, women on a pedestal, relief society meeting being all rainbows and flowers). in my adult lds life, i am developing the same frustration i had as a youth: the youth wanted refreshments, to play around, to be entertained, to spend a lot of money on activities. i wanted more lessons and activities about the savior or about service. the relief society sisters want to socialize, make crafts, not make activities too involved, not talk about anything too hard, mainly talk about how great motherhood is and find ways to make motherhood more bearable. i want more activities about testimonies, being christ-like, and following his ways. now, both of these things are okay in moderation, and of course women, like men, need to be uplifted and to bond, but there is serious, spiritual heavy lifting to be done that is just not being done. for one example, women aren't being frankly called to repentance for gossiping in the relief society general session. lds women love to gossip. the gossip of other women has hurt me more in my wards than anything else. no one talks about it, though, because then they'd be speaking 'harsh' things to their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and friends. no one is protecting men's hearts from taking the sting of being called to repentance (although i do wish they would chastise the men less for pornography and wife beating), so why are women being held back because of it?
in my exploration of ordain women, i have thought about what my reaction would be if i suddenly qualified to be ordained, as well as what it would be like. i blatantly reject the notion that men need the priesthood because, essentially, otherwise they would be lazy or sinful (so sexist). but i do think there is something to be said for the more tangible responsibility it gives your worthiness. i think that if i held the priesthood, i would guard my thoughts and actions much more carefully. i think that old idea of 'make sure you are worthy because you could need to give a blessing any second' would make a big impact on me.
i know i should still be christ-like. i know i should still be charitable, a good listener, a generous person--all the things christ was. but knowing your access to god's power is available to you, but only if you're worthy, is just different. it is for me, at least. i wish i had that reason to watch myself. i wish i had an obligation. i wish i had the goal.
but i will tell you who was not on the edge of their seat: the sisters. seeing a bored, even sleepy, even sleeping person in your class is hard for any teacher, but of all the people in the class, the women were the ones who were yawning, leaning all over their husbands, and looking at the floor.
i was very taken aback. of course there were exceptions, especially one awesome sister who has spoken very openly about depression and about 'why don't we talk about certain things in the church? not everyone is ok' (and also the bishop's wife). and on the other side, one guy was definitely not so interested. but still, the image of those women is burned in to my mind. i didn't succeed in making eye contact with them for an entire 45 minutes. in general, i would say mostly men spoke, even though i taught the majority of the lesson (hubby worked that morning and we didn't exactly prepare the night before).
i am really scared. i think the church might be making their women trivial by trivializing them (see here benevolent sexism, women on a pedestal, relief society meeting being all rainbows and flowers). in my adult lds life, i am developing the same frustration i had as a youth: the youth wanted refreshments, to play around, to be entertained, to spend a lot of money on activities. i wanted more lessons and activities about the savior or about service. the relief society sisters want to socialize, make crafts, not make activities too involved, not talk about anything too hard, mainly talk about how great motherhood is and find ways to make motherhood more bearable. i want more activities about testimonies, being christ-like, and following his ways. now, both of these things are okay in moderation, and of course women, like men, need to be uplifted and to bond, but there is serious, spiritual heavy lifting to be done that is just not being done. for one example, women aren't being frankly called to repentance for gossiping in the relief society general session. lds women love to gossip. the gossip of other women has hurt me more in my wards than anything else. no one talks about it, though, because then they'd be speaking 'harsh' things to their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and friends. no one is protecting men's hearts from taking the sting of being called to repentance (although i do wish they would chastise the men less for pornography and wife beating), so why are women being held back because of it?
in my exploration of ordain women, i have thought about what my reaction would be if i suddenly qualified to be ordained, as well as what it would be like. i blatantly reject the notion that men need the priesthood because, essentially, otherwise they would be lazy or sinful (so sexist). but i do think there is something to be said for the more tangible responsibility it gives your worthiness. i think that if i held the priesthood, i would guard my thoughts and actions much more carefully. i think that old idea of 'make sure you are worthy because you could need to give a blessing any second' would make a big impact on me.
i know i should still be christ-like. i know i should still be charitable, a good listener, a generous person--all the things christ was. but knowing your access to god's power is available to you, but only if you're worthy, is just different. it is for me, at least. i wish i had that reason to watch myself. i wish i had an obligation. i wish i had the goal.
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