things said recently in my office

"yeah, you could be macklemore for halloween, that would be hilaaarious. except, macklemore is sooooo gay, you know? so i don't know."

"oh good! my friend's new boyfriend wears his garments. so maybe he can help her get active again."

"but we found out that the actor who plays peeta is like, involved with this thing to help teens discover their sexuality, so [my husband] said 'no, i am definitely not being him for halloween,' but i was like, no, it's the actor that does that, not the character peeta."

"they shouldn't hire professors who have english as a second language. i know medical words are already hard to pronounce, but we had to ask him to write it on the board because no one could understand what he was saying."

"she is literally retarded. she had brain cancer so they literally took out part of her brain. she is so annoying. good for you that you survived cancer, but just no."

get me oooooooout.