this is the single most disrespectful, condescending thing i hear in an office full of men.
i love getting mainsplained in the morning... for twenty minutes... about my job (that i did correctly, despite what you think, sir)... at my desk... in front of the entire office. humiliating. on a good friday, too. i did stand up for myself, though, and i am growing in self respect, which is kick ass. it made him go back on what he said and kind of piss himself.
"i'm not telling you how to do it"
(yes you just did)
"i don't really know anything about it"
(no you don't)
cw: temple
this.
more and more, i feel an overwhelming desire to do only one of two things:
1 - completely walk away from the church. probably look for a different religion that focuses on kindness, acceptance, and love without exception, but probably not another church.
2 - fast, pray, search, and cry unto the God i believe in for answers and for the spirit, and for further revelation and guidance for the church. for every major decision in my life, i have felt a calm, peaceful, lack of answer from heaven. i have found this liberating, and seen it as a sign that i should choose for myself and all would be well, no matter what i selected. it was a great sign of autonomy for me. now, though, i find it terrifying and destroying. what if i pray, fast, search, and cry to God for an answer and there is none? do i truly believe i could receive an answer? if i don't, because i haven't ever received a grand, sweeping answer before, is that--my disbelief--what's preventing me from getting an answer? is it possible that God would let sexism, discrimination, suffering, and essentially a giant, engulfing, dark cloud of misunderstanding not only permeate but define the gospel? do i have faith to keep going? sometimes i feel that i would submit everything to Him, that i would suffer it all and rely on faith in pain. but what if it's not true, and i spent my life dedicated to a church that ended up not being true, that i suspected wasn't true? spent my time doing what others told me was good when i saw it was not good? or am i more afraid that it is all true, and that women are, truly, in the most demeaning sense of the word, appendages? vessels for bearing children and nothing more?
more and more, i feel an overwhelming desire to do only one of two things:
1 - completely walk away from the church. probably look for a different religion that focuses on kindness, acceptance, and love without exception, but probably not another church.
2 - fast, pray, search, and cry unto the God i believe in for answers and for the spirit, and for further revelation and guidance for the church. for every major decision in my life, i have felt a calm, peaceful, lack of answer from heaven. i have found this liberating, and seen it as a sign that i should choose for myself and all would be well, no matter what i selected. it was a great sign of autonomy for me. now, though, i find it terrifying and destroying. what if i pray, fast, search, and cry to God for an answer and there is none? do i truly believe i could receive an answer? if i don't, because i haven't ever received a grand, sweeping answer before, is that--my disbelief--what's preventing me from getting an answer? is it possible that God would let sexism, discrimination, suffering, and essentially a giant, engulfing, dark cloud of misunderstanding not only permeate but define the gospel? do i have faith to keep going? sometimes i feel that i would submit everything to Him, that i would suffer it all and rely on faith in pain. but what if it's not true, and i spent my life dedicated to a church that ended up not being true, that i suspected wasn't true? spent my time doing what others told me was good when i saw it was not good? or am i more afraid that it is all true, and that women are, truly, in the most demeaning sense of the word, appendages? vessels for bearing children and nothing more?
heavenly mother,
are you really there?
and do you see and answer
every single tear?
some say that all
has now been said,
and i feel thy absence
'round me as i'm led.
heavenly mother,
i remember now
something that jesus told
a disciple long ago.
'woman, why weepest,
whom seekest thou?'
mother, in faith i'm coming
to thee now.
are you really there?
and do you see and answer
every single tear?
some say that all
has now been said,
and i feel thy absence
'round me as i'm led.
heavenly mother,
i remember now
something that jesus told
a disciple long ago.
'woman, why weepest,
whom seekest thou?'
mother, in faith i'm coming
to thee now.
beard card
if i have to listen to my boss lecture one more person about their beard card, i'm going to punch a baby dolphin. if it comes up AT ALL, he gives them the whole go.
"what is the purpose for your beard card? . . . ok, well, the beard card is only for medical reasons, so if you can not shave for a medical reason. so if that clears up, even before your beard card expires, make sure you start shaving and not just keep your beard card because you have it. that is not what it's for."
"well, the beard card is not for your comfort. it's only for when your skin is too irritated to shave. so as soon as you can, you need to start shaving. it's not for employees to take advantage."
"it's not honest to keep a beard card if you can shave."
why don't you tell us how you really feel about this ridic rule.
"what is the purpose for your beard card? . . . ok, well, the beard card is only for medical reasons, so if you can not shave for a medical reason. so if that clears up, even before your beard card expires, make sure you start shaving and not just keep your beard card because you have it. that is not what it's for."
"well, the beard card is not for your comfort. it's only for when your skin is too irritated to shave. so as soon as you can, you need to start shaving. it's not for employees to take advantage."
"it's not honest to keep a beard card if you can shave."
why don't you tell us how you really feel about this ridic rule.
dream
i was hanging out with a group of people and we were working on something. it was time to eat so we started semi-lining up. there wasn't a clear line, but i was clearly one of the next few people, having waited a while. still, a guy acquaintance from high school stepped sideways right in front of me. "ok," i thought, and i stepped around in front of him. i put my hand on his arm and said, "i'm sorry, but i'm working on exerting myself." knowing him, i thought for sure he'd understand, but he said, "why would you need to exert yourself?"
maybe it's too much mad men.
maybe it's too much mad men.
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