normal day at the office. the last fifteen minutes of one of our meetings today was my boss telling everyone how he'll be gone because he's taking his family to DC for training he's attending. he said they got white house passes from our senator and that when he meets "mr. obama" he'll get to shake his hand "...........or not." this was followed by all our co-workers slamming obama in different ways, and ended with someone saying: "well, did you hear?? they're going to haul a big chunk of coal to mt. rushmore and add him a new portrait."
also said by my boss today (of a co-worker's new grandchild): "jacob is a good name. bible names NEVER go out of style." (he has a biblical name.) (so do his six brothers.) (they all own proximate land and live together in the mountains. for realsies.)
boss: "how's your dad doing?"
me: "well, he's finished with his chemo and his baseline scan was really good, no signs of disease. now he's just tired ALL the time. he will sometimes sleep 12 - 15 hours a day, not including naps, and still be tired. he has always slept a lot his whole life, but now he's just always trashed. they've just started him on steroids again to see if they will jump start his body."
boss: "oh. hum. well, i've heard that sleeping more than you need can make you as tired as sleeping not enough. so maybe he's sleeping too much?"
dude, do you even know what cancer is??? i'll be sure to tell him and his doctors that he's just sleeping too much.
me: "well, he's finished with his chemo and his baseline scan was really good, no signs of disease. now he's just tired ALL the time. he will sometimes sleep 12 - 15 hours a day, not including naps, and still be tired. he has always slept a lot his whole life, but now he's just always trashed. they've just started him on steroids again to see if they will jump start his body."
boss: "oh. hum. well, i've heard that sleeping more than you need can make you as tired as sleeping not enough. so maybe he's sleeping too much?"
dude, do you even know what cancer is??? i'll be sure to tell him and his doctors that he's just sleeping too much.
"does your wife work outside the home?"
these are the things the men in my office ask each other.
the guy who was asked, who was a guest in the building, responded quietly that his wife has reactive attachment disorder, so they never had kids. to this, my boss heartily replied that his brother and his wife couldn't have kids, so they adopted ten. #righteous
the guy who was asked, who was a guest in the building, responded quietly that his wife has reactive attachment disorder, so they never had kids. to this, my boss heartily replied that his brother and his wife couldn't have kids, so they adopted ten. #righteous
ow
my response, in my head, to every person i have ever heard say something negative about ordain women:
i'm not a member of ordain women but i am completely supportive of them as a mormon and as a feminist. contrary to what you just said, i find that they, on average, actually know much, much more about church history and how the church functions than the average member. for example, women in the early church gave blessings and it can even be said that some were ordained by joseph smith. most members don't know this. most members also don't know that the women who asked for entrance into priesthood session on temple square last year were not protesting in any way--they were waiting quietly in line and doing as they were asked. i think they even sang hymns. the use of the word 'protest' by church pr is misleading and, frankly, slanderous. despite ow's respectful attitude, the church reps told them there were no seats available even though the broadcast from inside the conference center clearly showed there was enough room for them and then some. not only that, but they were not allowed to use overflow seating, and a garbage truck was moved in front of the entrance to the tabernacle where the group was waiting and the church reps took off. it sat there until the women left. telling someone to just leave the church is about the most unchristlike thing a member could say, and it directly conflicts with their covenants and with the professed missions of the church.
other thoughts:
- ow is not a utah issue. the founder and leader, kate kelly, is from washington d.c. and is from oregon. she is a human rights attorney, which means she knows exactly how to proceed publicly (which does not consistent protesting, sorry church pr) and let injustice hang itself by looking stupid.
- i am pretty much uninterested in raising a family with a man (speaking generally) who sees his priesthood or career as equally (or more) important to raising his family. men don't get to help conceive children and then figuratively peace out because priesthood equals motherhood (which it doesn't).
-so many reasons why phood and mhood aren't equivalent that i'll spare you from reading.
- i think these women are not demonstrating a lack of faith in god, but rather a lot of faith. i don't believe god waited until 1978 to ordain black men to the priesthood to try the faith of those black members, but rather because the larger white majority of the church "wasn't ready" for such a "big change". white members still talk today about what a "difficult change" that was and hold racist views. my MIL has said that since handicapped children were extremely loyal in the premortal world, and there is an opposition in all things, it only makes sense that there was an extremely disloyal group: blacks. (what about black handicapped children?) these views held the church back, and activists who speak from personal experience are not wicked. the deft dismissal of all conversation or open mindedness on the issue of women's ordination leads me to believe it's very the same.
- "women already hold the priesthood (through their husbands) (based on the temple) (blah), even though they aren't ordained". great, so why can't we even go to priesthood session?
- it is said that all faithful members will receive every blessing they desire (see here emma smith). no one has satisfactorily explained to me yet how desiring to have a greater ability to serve and bring god's love to his children does not fall in that category.
-please note that the prophet himself has not spoken out on this topic. this is both saddening and encouraging/telling. everyone learns in primary that the prophet is the mouthpiece of the lord, not the church pr lady. frankly, she can spew whatever she wants and it means nothing to me. in addition, president uchtdorf, who is in the first presidency, essentially welcomed feminists last conference to stay in the church because they are needed.
-women praying in conference and the broadcast of the priesthood session did not take place before women were pressing the issues, so i don't appreciate people saying, 'just watch it on tv at home!!!!111!!1 why do you need to go to the conference center???/? you are arguing for something that's already fixed." it was either a really unfortunate or really low move for the church to decide to broadcast priesthood session 'right in the nick of time.'
- again, why are people upset about a request to provide greater service within the church?
i'm not a member of ordain women but i am completely supportive of them as a mormon and as a feminist. contrary to what you just said, i find that they, on average, actually know much, much more about church history and how the church functions than the average member. for example, women in the early church gave blessings and it can even be said that some were ordained by joseph smith. most members don't know this. most members also don't know that the women who asked for entrance into priesthood session on temple square last year were not protesting in any way--they were waiting quietly in line and doing as they were asked. i think they even sang hymns. the use of the word 'protest' by church pr is misleading and, frankly, slanderous. despite ow's respectful attitude, the church reps told them there were no seats available even though the broadcast from inside the conference center clearly showed there was enough room for them and then some. not only that, but they were not allowed to use overflow seating, and a garbage truck was moved in front of the entrance to the tabernacle where the group was waiting and the church reps took off. it sat there until the women left. telling someone to just leave the church is about the most unchristlike thing a member could say, and it directly conflicts with their covenants and with the professed missions of the church.
other thoughts:
- ow is not a utah issue. the founder and leader, kate kelly, is from washington d.c. and is from oregon. she is a human rights attorney, which means she knows exactly how to proceed publicly (which does not consistent protesting, sorry church pr) and let injustice hang itself by looking stupid.
- i am pretty much uninterested in raising a family with a man (speaking generally) who sees his priesthood or career as equally (or more) important to raising his family. men don't get to help conceive children and then figuratively peace out because priesthood equals motherhood (which it doesn't).
-so many reasons why phood and mhood aren't equivalent that i'll spare you from reading.
- i think these women are not demonstrating a lack of faith in god, but rather a lot of faith. i don't believe god waited until 1978 to ordain black men to the priesthood to try the faith of those black members, but rather because the larger white majority of the church "wasn't ready" for such a "big change". white members still talk today about what a "difficult change" that was and hold racist views. my MIL has said that since handicapped children were extremely loyal in the premortal world, and there is an opposition in all things, it only makes sense that there was an extremely disloyal group: blacks. (what about black handicapped children?) these views held the church back, and activists who speak from personal experience are not wicked. the deft dismissal of all conversation or open mindedness on the issue of women's ordination leads me to believe it's very the same.
- "women already hold the priesthood (through their husbands) (based on the temple) (blah), even though they aren't ordained". great, so why can't we even go to priesthood session?
- it is said that all faithful members will receive every blessing they desire (see here emma smith). no one has satisfactorily explained to me yet how desiring to have a greater ability to serve and bring god's love to his children does not fall in that category.
-please note that the prophet himself has not spoken out on this topic. this is both saddening and encouraging/telling. everyone learns in primary that the prophet is the mouthpiece of the lord, not the church pr lady. frankly, she can spew whatever she wants and it means nothing to me. in addition, president uchtdorf, who is in the first presidency, essentially welcomed feminists last conference to stay in the church because they are needed.
-women praying in conference and the broadcast of the priesthood session did not take place before women were pressing the issues, so i don't appreciate people saying, 'just watch it on tv at home!!!!111!!1 why do you need to go to the conference center???/? you are arguing for something that's already fixed." it was either a really unfortunate or really low move for the church to decide to broadcast priesthood session 'right in the nick of time.'
- again, why are people upset about a request to provide greater service within the church?
lady professoinals
over the last couple of days i've been attending what is essentially an on campus conference for secretaries. today the first speaker was camille fronk olson. i didn't have high hopes, but also didn't realize who she was. she was fantastic. near the beginning of her presentation she made a point that paul's first convert in europe was a woman, making a side note that she's not sorry for caring so much about women and that she "gets off on women."
after that, i immediately went online on my phone and ordered her book.
her gloriousness was followed by the founder and editor of a prominent local magazine. she was introduced as "a wife of one and a mother of four," which made me throw up in my mouth. her topic was 'ten things happy people do' and her first point was that 'happy people TALK.' which she says is a lesson she learned most from ann romney.
you win some, you lose some.
on a side note, i watched the netflix doc, 'mitt'. i was never really a fan of romney and the documentary left me more unimpressed, which i think was the opposite effect. one of the saddest things about it was that, after their first unsuccessful presidential run (in 2008?) ann was on camera several times saying that she never wanted to ever, ever do a presidential run again. the very next scene cut to her family gearing up for 2012. it made me seriously so sad. she obviously had her reserves the first time, and clearly she found it crushing. our 'wife of one' presenter hinted that ann had opened up to her about negative feelings related to campaigning, and i just felt for her. i know there's a lot no one sees and i don't know them or their relationship, but for heaven's sake, why would you highlight that?
after that, i immediately went online on my phone and ordered her book.
her gloriousness was followed by the founder and editor of a prominent local magazine. she was introduced as "a wife of one and a mother of four," which made me throw up in my mouth. her topic was 'ten things happy people do' and her first point was that 'happy people TALK.' which she says is a lesson she learned most from ann romney.
you win some, you lose some.
on a side note, i watched the netflix doc, 'mitt'. i was never really a fan of romney and the documentary left me more unimpressed, which i think was the opposite effect. one of the saddest things about it was that, after their first unsuccessful presidential run (in 2008?) ann was on camera several times saying that she never wanted to ever, ever do a presidential run again. the very next scene cut to her family gearing up for 2012. it made me seriously so sad. she obviously had her reserves the first time, and clearly she found it crushing. our 'wife of one' presenter hinted that ann had opened up to her about negative feelings related to campaigning, and i just felt for her. i know there's a lot no one sees and i don't know them or their relationship, but for heaven's sake, why would you highlight that?
blame it on my amygdala
i know i'm not an easy person for most people to get along with, that i come across stand off ish, that i'm the MOST painful introvert, and i really, really try to make this up to the people i care about and see most in my day to day life when i'm having "on" days.
but please, employees, help me help you. i really, seriously, for real don't want to talk at length about the kinds of salads available at maceys (honey bbq, bleu cheese, bacon ranch, almond, cesar), i don't want to talk for two hours about how you want to wear high heels but don't want to be taller than your husband on your wedding day, and i don't really need you to read all the news stories on your homepage aloud to me every morning. i think you're amazing and i have a lot of respect for you, but i really didn't want to hear about literally every member of your extended family and where they live right now (and in the past) and what drama they caused in your family as kids. you are some of the nicest, most honestly wonderful co workers i've ever had, but i just don't need an update every day about everything your roommate did and said last night (especially please stop complaining that your indian roommate's mom is visiting and pretty much saying you think their food smells like ass and you have to air out your apartment) and if i have to pretend another dog is the cutest dog i've ever seen, i'm going to vomit. also i just don't care about the drawings your fiance's niece drew yesterday.
but please, employees, help me help you. i really, seriously, for real don't want to talk at length about the kinds of salads available at maceys (honey bbq, bleu cheese, bacon ranch, almond, cesar), i don't want to talk for two hours about how you want to wear high heels but don't want to be taller than your husband on your wedding day, and i don't really need you to read all the news stories on your homepage aloud to me every morning. i think you're amazing and i have a lot of respect for you, but i really didn't want to hear about literally every member of your extended family and where they live right now (and in the past) and what drama they caused in your family as kids. you are some of the nicest, most honestly wonderful co workers i've ever had, but i just don't need an update every day about everything your roommate did and said last night (especially please stop complaining that your indian roommate's mom is visiting and pretty much saying you think their food smells like ass and you have to air out your apartment) and if i have to pretend another dog is the cutest dog i've ever seen, i'm going to vomit. also i just don't care about the drawings your fiance's niece drew yesterday.
some days i feel so good, and so energetic for a change, and i think that i'm going to do everything i want to do--work out, write and submit articles, do some research, be awesome to everyone, be myself, speak up, get an awesome hairstyle, go to the ballet and the theater and to concerts, hike and have adventures, and recreate myself.
then i just feel like, what's the point? i work this job that no one cares about, then i go home and that's it. there is on glamour in this. i think that's part of the problem, or the entire problem: i'm not looking forward to anything, i'm not going anywhere, i don't have any plans. and just thinking about plans exhausts me.
then i just feel like, what's the point? i work this job that no one cares about, then i go home and that's it. there is on glamour in this. i think that's part of the problem, or the entire problem: i'm not looking forward to anything, i'm not going anywhere, i don't have any plans. and just thinking about plans exhausts me.
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