my LSAT class is going well.

really well.

my LSAT score will make or break me and i figured that i could probably do fine enough and if i didn't then that was that. but no, it has been great. when i took my first ever full practice test, i got a 157, which is right above the 25th percentile for law students admitted this year. granted, i didn't time myself and took a little longer than i normally would have. i just wanted to see if i had a shot. i didn't really know until after i took it that what i actually wanted and needed to know was if i was smart enough to do this. and the answer is a resounding yes. i was elated that night. i haven't felt so "on" in a long time.

more than that, the LSAT class has been a piece of cake. not like i'm-not-learning-anything piece of cake, but like a i-really-really-got-this-whoa-i-really-got-this kind of way. they put the hard stuff up front and during the lessons my teacher is going on about how hard it's supposed to be and that this is the worst of it and please don't drop out and disappear and students are crying quietly into their books all around me (just kidding about the students, except some of them have really been visibly or audibly disturbed). and then i'm there like, what are you talking about this makes perfect sense and is so simple. or, if i doesn't make sense at first, it's usually just the hurdle of understanding what the teacher is trying to say, and then i got it.

i definitely don't think i'm better or smarter than those other students and there's an immediate sense of camaraderie. but i didn't understand just how well my personality and my degree were setting me up for success and i have only been pleasantly surprised. after class three times a week my mind is buzzing. i get home at 9:00p and dive into my studying because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. it's so exciting and i'm having to force myself to go to bed around midnight.

mostly i go between thinking:

is the LSAT not supposed to be hard?
am i really just this smart?

i've got that sense again like i was made for this. i know that if i believe i can do it, it will happen. and i would never say any of this in person so i guess i will do it here.

so as you treat yo self this friday night, raise a glass to me; i'll be digging through and enjoying my books and practice tests.