life trudges on.

i plan to write about my dad soon, but i can't yet.

law school is looming larger and larger. i know we are weird about religion here but i will still say that i have felt blessed through all of this. i know i never could have done it if i wasn't able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and wake up from my situational depression, but the necessary people i had to pull into my life have been like beacons. and, they are all women! what are the chances that a recovering and sometimes defensive feminist living in one of the most conservative parts of the country would get to work with a female professor, a female pre law advisor, and a female lsat instructor.

my lsat instructor told us to email her at any time of the day or night with any questions, no matter how specific, and that should would get back to us as soon as she could. she was quite the opposite of me--she has a science and a law degree and has a math brain for sure. but her tough love gave me so much.

my pre law advisor is wonderful and fields all of my long, worried, intense emails. i have had trouble getting time off work to go in to meet with her after taking so much time off when my dad died and since i'm currently having a mini melt down about the lsat she offered to come to my desk where i work this afternoon and discuss my options with me. i can't believe how above and beyond she has gone for me. the first time i met her i explained that i really just needed to know if law school was even plausible and if i could do it and she put her hands on the desk and said, "yes. megan listen to me, seriously. you. can. do. this."

and my professor was kind, understanding, and honest--everything you need someone who recommends you to be. if it wasn't for her, i wouldn't have a letter of rec from a professor, because all the other professors retired.

so amidst the studying and fighting through all this i feel so much love and support.

if there is one lesson i have learned this year it's that you have to ask for what you need. because when you do, your detractors shrink and people you may not even know will come to bat for you.

speaking of detractors... work sucks ass more than ever. long story. but i have a job interview tomorrow for a position my managing director invited me to apply for. also a long, long story... but i have a ridiculously strong application and a good reason to think they'll hire me if i don't mess up the interview. the managing director is retiring and he literally told me this is his last ditch effort to get me out of here before he retires. (he is and has always been wonderful and a strong supporter of me). despite it all, i am trying not to get my hopes up, but who knows--it could totally happen. after years of struggle and job searching, i could have a job literally given to me.  wouldn't that be seriously the most ridiculous and ironic thing?

ps - my guilty pleasure lately is watching sex and the city. i know a lot of people would say this makes me a bad feminist and inside i'm like "don't tell me how to feminist!!!" but then i watch it by myself in the night so no one knows, so what does that tell you.