sister in law

my brother is going to be engaged and then married soon.

i am fucking hating it.

the other day my he asked me if i was "excited to have another girl in the family." my wtf at that was endless. i finally texted back that lawl mom is a girl silly, because i couldn't think of anything else to say. but i can feel it beginning. the gendering.

it was great growing up with all brothers. i always proclaimed as a teenager that i didn't like catty, fickle girls and i preferred being around guys. i've spent a lot of heart aching work clawing that internalized misogyny out of myself. but there were still good things about having all brothers. since i was the only girl i was free to meld with everyone. i think things weren't gendered too much because then i'd be alone. there were obviously some gendered things, like when the boys would go off to do "their priesthood duty", but i was never made to feel like i was a girly girl that had to do my own girly things and be girly. i recognize now that, even with my problems, i was always a feminist and leaned that way.

but now there will be another "girl" in the family and it's already the worst. not in a sexist way but in a people will be sexist to us way.

we've known the girl for a while and she's cool and right for my brother but not someone i would automatically latch on to. we're very, very different. i don't want to have to be friends with someone just because we're the only two "girls" in the family. i don't want to be forced into gendered activities and be the butt of gendered jokes. my brother already texts me jokes about "the wife is always right" and it just makes me throw up. he is PUMPED for his own little, gendered, appropriate, "righteous" version of the lds marriage, and i'm excited for him but also horrified.