angelina jolie

i understand that angelina jolie is considered strange, erratic, and even psychotic. but her films were not among the kinds i was allowed to watch as a kid, so i haven't encountered her fully as a celebrity or a person or a figure until now, wandering in my 20's. when her movie "salt" came out i remember my aunt (a strong woman i admire) posting a status (maybe in indirect response to everyone who boycots jolie's movies because of her persona, beliefs, or lifestyle) saying that she would give her money any day to a hardworking kick ass woman and mother who does so much good and stays in such great shape.

i have absolutely come to agree with this. beyond that, it's more. there is something feminine, open, generous, kind, and attractive that makes an irresistible woman irresistible, not just in a sexual way but in a human, uplifting, beautiful way. whenever i am feeling lost as a woman, when i feel i have lost what makes me special, lost view of the power for good i have, lost view of how good and powerful sexuality is for giving life and wholeness and bringing balance and companionship between the sexes--when i need gumption--i watch this interview of angelina jolie with james lipton.

she is irresistible. she talks about falling in love with her brother and with her female co-workers (scandalizing everyone) and above all it is evident that she knows and develops herself through these relationships, not resisting them. she loves all people, regardless (or because of) who they are. i read in the comments for this video once that jolie is a unique actress because she makes everyone in the audience--male and female--feel like she would sleep with them. from what i know of her i think this is true, and believe it's because she would love them, see the good in them, cherish about them everything that was unique and admirable and worth connecting to--what else, really, is at the heart of good sex? she is a very sexual woman and attraction is at the heart of sex, but she is somehow above all of that, in another playing field, because she believes, most simply, in human connection. in a sexualized culture, she approaches sex in a way that it becomes uncomplicated and a powerful tool in a journey to a life about bigger things (shocker! sex is basic to human life, but not the object of human life).

one of my sisters in law recently talked about how she finally found a word that she feels describes her sexuality: pansexual. while i'm happily committed to a heterosexual marriage, on some level, i get it. (and, after all, it makes sense that an array of different relationships could make us happy and fulfilled to some measure, or else it would be needless for god to command us to marry after a specific, organized manner.) i admire the personality and quality of being able to connect with people--any person--on such an honest and profound level.

anyway. her life continues to be stunning; she is proactive and troubled by the right things and of all the people of which i've learned, she is one of the most full bodied and frank. she says she is shocked at the things the public is shocked by. i feel this same thing, and often wonder why there are such tight, often fear-based restrictions or blinders on cultural, physical, and emotional ideas that could empower, engage, and enrich the lives of many.

i admire her and want to be like her, and it is my little secret.