girly girls

i'm in the office alone this morning and have been thinking about medicaid, even though she is not here. (by the way, great news! all of the terrible employees that were here when i started/have made my life a waking night terror have officially left! i got all new employees for christmas, and it was perfectly underwhelming and quiet around here.)

when i met her she was quirky, definitely a tom boy, would wear shorts and an athletic shirt to work, and her hair would be wet because she'd just gone to the gym. she would just talk non-stop about basketball and the fun things she did with her family. we connected over weddings and mother in laws and i actually always enjoyed talking to her.

then she fell in love with her future doctor bigot husband and they got married right away. now, a year later, she is a completely different person. she wears maxi skirts and gets eyelash extensions. she has ombre hair that is always curled and usually has a barrette. she always has three purses/bags for all her stuff and talks nonstop about her husband's grad school, eventual career, his classes, his hardships, how he's always studying, how obama has ruined the medical career, the cute deals she finds on craigslist, puppies, babies,  and how they want to go to the carribean with their friends for med school.

it all really started when they lost their premature, unexpected baby to heart complications; she wrote about it on her blog, and it went as viral as something like that will get in utah valley. she became obsessed with blogging--about dressers, about cookies, about smoothies. she told us she had spent hours and days designing her blog. her husband got her a really nice camera on her birthday and she rejoiced that there wouldn't be 'bad' pictures on her blog anymore.

long gone is the girl i connected with semi-well. i didn't know then that she thought gay people were 'gay because they got bored with regular sex and had to do something more exotic to stay satisfied.' i didn't know that she would spout endlessly about the evils of obama, and especially welfare, and then get medicaid a year later. i didn't know yet how much she hated feminists, and hadn't heard her go on and on about how 'they obvoiusly just don't understand the gospel.'

or, she wasn't that person yet. i have often wondered where people who believe as she does come from, and now i have seen it happen in front of my eyes. as much anxiety as she has given me, i worry about the girl i used to know. i wonder if she would have ever been like this if it weren't for the husband she chose and the blog that got big. she is a 100% different person.

women should choose who they are, and really it's no one's business. watching this whole thing go down, though, has been the weirdest, saddest experience.