noisy

even with my struggles with wymount culture, i have really loved our apartment. it is definitely our home. but i don't know what it is this last week... i hear crying babies / kids literally hours of every day. it doesn't help that the people below us have a brand new baby. (they had a new baby last summer too...) i have always disliked those people who complain about kids making noise in restaurants, stores, etc. kids are loud. parenting is loud. i feel like that should be ok. but hearing crying children all the time isn't making me feel more creative / more driven / sexier / more motivated / more willing to spend time on the hard stuff. it makes me feel tired.

the first year of marriage was so difficult and so rewarding. sam and i both have lots of dreams and things we want to do. we have been unbelievably blessed, including through living in this location. and i don't think that not being ready for kids means i should / can dislike everyone else for having kids, especially living somewhere built for those people. but i feel trapped here, and i feel like it's ok for us to not be ready to have kids but that maybe we are not spending that time wisely. i feel like we are living in a place that represents where we want to be in five or ten years, and that it's preventing us from living fully in the moment. even if i can get over being bugged by the noise, it's very psychological.

if i didn't hate moving, i would move.