republicans

this conversation took place right at my desk yesterday between two full-time employees:

employee 1: "well, there is never enough money!"

employee 2: "yeah, the government wants to take it all. the government thinks it knows what's best for our money more than we do."

employee 1: "yep. well, it's our own fault for reelecting obama."

employee 2: "no, it's the fault of the idiots who reelected him. i didn't vote for him."

employee 1: "well, that's what i meant. it's the fault of... those people. the people that voted for him, not us."

employee 2: "yeah, idiots."

i was fuming. comments like this are made ALL the time in my office, but having it take place three feet in front of me, as a supporter of obama and a friend to many, many good people who are democrats, i was disgusted. i felt sick to my stomach. it was the beginning of a long, terrible day, and i didn't even go back to my building to work after lunch.

either they didn't notice my horrified, sick stare straight ahead or they don't care. my employee, who was at the desk with me (the republican who trash talked welfare and is now on welfare), knows i'm liberal, but she didn't say anything, as she never had. (during the election when they would go on for hours she would even say things like, 'i don't know why obama supporters don't stand up and defend themselves.' i'm pretty sure that was directed at me. well, she never asked.) should i have stood up to them? what would i have said if they asked me?

i didn't vote for obama (i didn't vote.... i know, shame), but i was this '  ' close to saying, "uhm, i voted for obama." i'm sure they would have asked "why?" probably i would have said, "because i'm an idiot, of course!!!" what if i had said, "oh, i get it. so you're upset about your money going to help people, other republicans, like m----- here that are on welfare?" i wonder what they all would have said then.but the truth is: i am severely repulsed by republicans and their attitudes.

i was taking ap gov while the 2008 presidential race was going on. i remember self identifying as slightly liberal (i am much more liberal now), and came home to ask my parents a few things. i brought it up to them, i still remember they were sitting on the couch together folding laundry, and they immediately started putting down my questions and potential ideas. 'we've always been afraid that you were getting a liberal education in this state,' they said. i will never forget that. it was a legitimate concern, but i was asking questions about the gospel, politics, and how the two intersect, and they were jumping to conclusions. they told me 'the right' stance to have and it escalated quickly because i started walking out of the room when they wouldn't listen to me.

that was the beginning of a long, distrusting, disliking relationship with republicans.

i know there must be good republicans out there. i know that disliking them so much is no better than them when they are putting down and calling democrats evil and idiots. i don't want to contribute to the hatefulness  between the parties that permeated the last election, and i have never, ever spoken up before, not even again to my parents. but in my interactions with them they are consistently inhumane, closed minded, and quite frankly, disgusting. they are the ones that call all hispanics "mexicans" and get livid about printing school publicans in two languages, that champion the traditions that i think hurt so many, that believe the constitution is hanging by a thread, and that talk about the "gay agenda" and try to project their values on other people without taking those people's experiences into thought or consideration.

i don't even support that many democrat party platforms or policies. but i think it would be one of the most shameful things i could say about myself if i were to say i was a republican.