remember that one time my roommate never talked to me or said anything and then one day she exploded and told me i gave her depression by not being her good friend and she had to meet with the bishop on regular basis to deal with it and that the whole ward was talking about me behind my back and everyone was mad i wouldn't be friends with them? also remember how she would NEVER lock the front door and when we confronted her about it (and really asked her nicely to lock it) she had a break down and was crying and said that she hates locked doors?

or remember that other roommate who was my best friend who one day she stopped talking to me and wouldn't tell me what was wrong and then one day i came home and she was moving out that day without telling me? and also how she loved twilight and i accidentally found her expensive vampire veneers in a bathroom cupboard one time?

or remember when my roommate would buy bags and bags of stuff from the dollar store and COVER our entire living room in the most awkward home made dollar store crafts? and put a sticker on her missionary calendar every single day until her missionary came home and dumped her?

or remember that one time my roommate's parents convinced her over christmas break that when a guy friend had been in our dorm room and made a joke about a homemade bomb like two months before it was actually a serious bomb threat and she told the police, the bishop, the relief society president, and then asked me not to allow him in our room anymore but when i said no, requested to move rooms immediately? and would also rather die than eat strawberries because she read that they sometimes dye them?

or remember that time i had another roommate who would cough until she threw up? and who also cracked our toilet seat somehow?

or remember when i had a suite mate who refused to lock the shared bathroom door and--semi-unrelated--also saw me naked?

or remember that one time my roommate asked me to keep her credit card so she couldn't buy any more pizza? or that time she had been watching law and order svu for like six days straight (i think she left it on while she slept) and then randomly when i was walking through the living room told me really dramatically that she thought she just remembered being sexually abused? and how she told us she had a porn addiction and would leave her lds recovery booklets around and got way awkward about it when our home teachers came over? and was always in and slept in and kept her stuff in the living room even though she had the only private room? and would throw parties that no one would come to so she would wallow for a week and post mean stuff on our ward's facebook wall?


damn, it's good to be married.