upon my promotion my supervisor, a 60 year old man with a wife and kids, advised me to attend devotional, a once a week meeting put on by the university. he said he would offer to give me a ride, but he felt uncomfortable doing so. i was fine with it (i'd rather go alone anyway) and admired him not for his opinion but for being so upfront and not awkward about it.
today we were going to visit another department on campus. he drove us there. he was very uncomfortable, and did his best to make what he saw as an extremely awkward situation seem less awkward. it reminded me of the stories of byu grads acting so weird about going on work lunches with female coworkers or supervisors, or even refusing to go. maybe his wife has insecurities, or maybe it's a personal standard for him to not be alone with women, but it made me sad. i feel like as long as i'm in working in such an intensely lds community, and relationships are hyper sexualized, associating with me will be "unsafe" or inappropriate for some of my coworkers.
i am young(er) and a woman, but i am, mind you, a full time, well established, married, well praised employee with great professionalism.
(also, mind you, i have had some normal and really wonderful interactions with married men at work.)
there are other awkward moments. i don't know if it's the feminist hammer in me looking to hit nails, or if it's really there--either way, it's real to me. if i need to reexplain something to a business partner or technician, the older men i work with will often cut in to speak for me (every time). if we're working with people we don't usually work with, they sometimes speak for me entirely and reference me (standing right there). i have to cut to the front of the line if we're having a lunch meeting (all guys except me) and am always being told that if i need help lifting or moving something, just to call. maybe i have chub but i still have arms. when asked about my personal life, i am usually asked about my husband's hobbies/plans for school/future and not my own.
i can live with it. but it's always creeping around.
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